Let’s cover some helpful terms before we explore how you can support someone who is using drugs.

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This is a common question asked by carers, and while it is possible, it’s not as likely as you might think.

Most young people in Australia don’t use alcohol or drugs.  Drug use has declined in young people aged 12-17.

Young people may have the idea that drug use is normal because they hear stories that “everyone is doing it.” This gives them the idea that drug use is normal.

But by choosing not to use drugs, they will be among most people their age.

How do I find out if they are using drugs?

Some carers worry that a young person might be using drugs. We may think that finding out will help us to make sense of any changes to their behaviour.

Although there are signs that may point towards drug use, it may not be the case.

Unless a young person tells you that they are using drugs, you cannot know for sure.

This is because drug use affects us all in different ways.

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Is it mental illness, drugs, or something else?

Sometimes we might jump to the conclusion that they are taking drugs because of our own fears. We all have our own ideas about what drug use could mean and what it “looks like”.

Drugs are often not the cause of changes to a young person's behaviour. Many behaviours we might think of as worrying can be very normal for teenagers.

Mood swings, asking for privacy, or spending less time with loved ones can happen for lots of reasons. Some signs that we think might mean drug use could point toward other issues.

For example: mood swings are common for people who use drugs. They are also common for young people going through hormonal changes.

It is hard to know whether behaviours are due to the normal process of growing up, or because something is wrong.

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There are some signs you can look out for. If you see them, you might want to check in with the young person:

• a sudden or extreme change in mood
• feeling tired, even after they have had a good night's sleep
• choosing sleep over things they enjoy, like hobbies
• thinking slowly or in unusual ways
• changes to the way they talk.

If these changes are there, but they tell you they are not using drugs, it might be time to speak with their GP.

Remember that privacy is important to all of us. Looking through a young person’s room or things without their knowledge could really damage your relationship with them.

Keeping an open and trusting relationship is more important in the long term.

If you think that a young person might be using drugs:

• give yourself time to think about how your feelings might affect your response
• respect the privacy of the young person
• do some research: make sure you have the right information to share with them
• if you can, talk to them about their possible drug use when you are both calm and in a private place
• let them know you want to help and support them

It is normal to have strong feelings if you find out that a person you care about is using drugs. But it is important to remember that most young people do not develop problems because of experimental use.

They may use something once out of curiosity and choose not to use it again.

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If you know for sure that the young person has used or is using drugs, the first step is to talk to them.

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• ask questions: It's okay to ask them directly what they have used, how much, and why.
• get the facts: find trustworthy information about the drug, like the short and long-term effects.
• be clear about your views: explain what you think and feel, and why.
• try not to react: make it easy for them to talk to you. Keep things casual and relaxed. This will help you talk about their drug use without strong emotions getting in the way.
• use empathy: try to imagine how the young person might be feeling. Be willing to listen to them without judgement.
• focus on their health: let them know you care about them, and that you want them to be healthy.
• talk to their teachers and coaches: if they are showing poor behaviour or are struggling in school or sport, their teachers and coaches might be able to help.
• be a role model: show them the behaviour you want them to have. If you drink alcohol, set a good example. Have alcohol-free days, and don't drink and drive.
• seek support: there are many services that can help young people to deal with drug issues. Not everyone who uses drugs will need to go to rehab.

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You can help to stop a young person from starting to use drugs.

You can talk to them about boundaries. It is important that you get their input in the process. Young people are less likely to stick to boundaries that have been set for them without a discussion.

You can also encourage and support someone to quit. Research strongly suggests that forcing someone to quit doesn’t work in the long term.

You can talk to them about keeping safe when they are using drugs, and share information or treatment options.

We suggest you don’t use ‘scare tactics’ to try to frighten them into quitting.

It might be tempting, but untrue information can stop them from learning how to make their own informed choices. It could also make them even more curious about drugs and increase their interest in wanting to experience them.

Why can't they just stop?

Some people find that their drug use grows beyond their control, and they become dependent on (or, addicted to) a substance. Many carers want the young person to go straight into treatment. They feel frustrated when they hear that you can't force someone to change if they don’t want to.

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Motivation is what makes a person interested in doing something, or in acting in a particular way.  The best type of motivation comes from within us; we do things because we want to do them.  When we want to do something, we’ll be more likely to succeed.

A person who is using drugs has to want to stop.

Carers need to know that recovery is not a simple process.

It is complex and can involve a lot of steps and different approaches. What works for one person does not always work for others. Recovery isn't a step-by-step process, but one based on piece by piece change. There will be setbacks and learnings that occur right through the journey.

For many people, the first step is realising that their drug use is having a negative impact on their life. They might also begin to see how it effects the people around them.

Sharing those realisations with you is the next step.

How behaviour change works... and how you can help

Making changes can be tough. A fear of failure or the comfort of a known routine are just two things that can make it harder. Change makes us try new things, even when we might not want to.

Cutting back or stopping drug use is a type of health behaviour change. This kind of change has different stages that we move through as we try something out and adjust to the new parts.

While it looks simple, it is very normal for people to jump back and forth between the different stages.

Let's take a closer look at these different stages of change and what they look and sound like:

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Carers should always use language that doesn’t shame or blame when talking about drug use with young people.

Why? Because language matters. It shapes our views on drug use and affects how we respond to people who use drugs.

• words like 'addict', 'clean' and 'dirty' reinforce stereotypes and lead to judgement, blaming and shaming
• fear of stigma and being labelled as a 'drug user' can and does stop people from looking for treatment or support
• being mindful about the words we use is not about being 'politically correct' or 'woke'. It is simple respect and kindness. The right language allows a person to feel that they have power over their life.

What is Stigma?

It is common for people who use drugs to feel the effects of stigma and discrimination.

'Stigma' is the disapproval of a person based on something that sets them apart from others. In the case of drug use, stigma is often caused by false beliefs about addiction.

The fear of being left out or judged because of drug use can and does stop people from seeking help.

This is why we must support people who wish to seek help. If you focus on your feelings about their drug use, it could deepen the shame they are already feeling.

Drug dependence is ranked as the number one most stigmatised health issue in the world. Dependence on alcohol is right behind, ranked at number four.

Stigma affects everyone. Some people experience ‘self-stigma’ – they feel stigmatised by their own feelings and views about their drug use.

Some people feel stigmatised by other peoples’ opinions or disapproval when they are in public spaces – this is called social stigma. Many people also feel that their loved ones treat them poorly because of their drug use and that they are treated unfairly because of it.

Stigma can also be found in social structures like hospitals and schools where someone might be excluded because they have broken the rules in the past... or because of the beliefs of the people who work there.

For example: a person might have trouble getting a prescription for pain medication as an ex-user of drugs, even though they have real pain that they need help with.

So, how do we deal with stigma?

Stories about young people not knowing where to go to find help are common in Tasmania.

When help is found, there are often other roadblocks that stop them from getting help. Stigma can be one of those roadblocks.

Stigma does not stop people from using drugs or inspire them to find help. Stigma can also trigger people to use drugs or give up on making changes to their life. We share and spread stigma with our words, body language and actions. Sometimes these signs are easy to spot, sometimes they are not so clear.

To deal with stigma, we can:

• focus on the person, not their actions
• use appropriate language
• be compassionate
• use empathy
• remember that our language (both our words and body language) can make drug problems worse

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There are many places to find support for all the people feeling the effects of a young person’s substance use.

You could start by talking to a GP, teacher or other school staff. Counsellors and helplines can also suggest ways to help.

Other trusted adults close to the young person may also be able to support you both. Getting support for yourself is just as important as getting help for the young person.

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What will I be asked when seeking help?

Youth Drug and Alcohol services and rehabilitation facilities receive referrals for young people all the time.

It is not common for places to be able to begin working with the young person right away. Be aware that you may need to wait.

When you first contact them, they will likely ask questions to make sure that they can offer the right help. This way you can avoid waiting for the wrong type of service.

In most cases a service will need to speak to the young person without you present. You can still let them know if you think something will be useful for them to be aware of.

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After Hours Support

There are a number of 24/7 helplines that run between 5pm and 9am. While this is not ideal for long term help, it is a good place to start. It may ease your concerns in the moment.

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Growing up is tough. Young people are asked to adapt to many fast changes. For many it is also a time of vulnerability; some issues dealing with change are very normal.

It can be hard to know how to respond if a young person is using drugs. All families have their own ways of coping. It is okay to feel angry, upset or scared. There is no 'right' way to respond.

Helping the young person to build up their self-esteem as they recover can be a team effort. Reach out to others for help, it's not something you can or should do by yourself.

In this Conversation we learned:

• how to find out if a young person is using drugs... or needs other help
• what we can do if they are using drugs
• what we can do to help them recover
• how behaviour change works, and how we can help at each stage
• what stigma is, and how to use our words carefully to support someone
• what to expect when calling a service
• what options are available after-hours